Selector Spread Wixoss Episode 1: STOP PLAYING THE GAAAAAAME!

Selector Infected Wixoss was a pretty awful first season. None of it made any sense, the morals were plain disgusting, the thematic and symbolism were all over the place and all of its narrative hooks were built around absolutely nonsensical plot twists and artificial mechanics that exist only for the sake of justifying lazy writing. It suuuuuuucked! But lets dig in to this second season and see if it has gotten any better.

So the episode opens and it’s all pretty superfluous. Ruka and… those other two pretty much hang around talking about nothing. Despite the fact one of them is trapped in a playing card thanks to the last season, their friendship still seems to be intact. It’s all over long and I couldn’t care less for any of these people. Ruka however interrupts the conversation with internal monologues ‘I wont lose again!’ Geez, at least wait until you’re alone before you start thinking about your *super serious* card game.

Then that young girl who had like, one scene from the first season walks in and starts being insufferable. Her ignorance of the card game she loves so much is lazily used to recap the revelations of the first season. Christ, if we’re watching this season, we’ve already seen the first. It’s not that complicated, we don’t need you wasting our time with this insufferably dower recap. But for those blessed with out knowledge of this show…

Essentially, the titular Wixoss is a card game that you can never, ever win, even if you win. Well, in reality (seriously, there’s a comerical tie in for this) it’s a regular Yugi-oh knock off. The show doesn’t bother to explain the rules, so as far as I’m concerned the battles just come down to who the writer decides to win while pretty animation is shoved in our faces. Oh, and in-universe the game is really popular with teenage girls for some reason. Celebrity endorsements go a long way, but it’s still a pretty weird stretch don’t you think? I mean I’m not saying it couldn’t happen… but so soon? The important things however are thus- some girls called ‘selectors’ can play this game to have their wish granted. Lose three times, and not only are their memories erased, but their wish gets inverted. For example, Hitoe wished for friends, so when she lost in the first season she lost the ability to make friends. Well, until the writer yelled ‘Abracadabra! Power of friendship I guess!’ and powerful voodoo magic was reverted, and now she’s totally fine. Win an arbitrary amount of games (the conditions are so vague as to be pointless to think about, this episode reveals a character actually had to lose a game to a specific person)  and you get your wish granted. But your wish has to be plausible. So, like, nothing interesting. Only stuff you could get quite easily without Wixoss screwing you over. But wait! Your LRIG (magical girl locked in their Wixoss cards) will take your place and lives your life when your wish comes true. Then, you become an LRIG trapped in a Wixoss card. And somehow, authorities haven’t noticed all these Wixoss cards that look the same as real people being used in casual card game play. It’s all a ton of vague rules and pointless rubbish with no thought put into what any of it actually means, really.

My point is, playing Wixoss as a Selector is… well, you can’t. It’s unplayable. Complain to the vague magical bullshit card game deities, this shit needs a patch! You lose no matter what you do. The only justification the show has for the characters continuing to play is that main character Ruka is apparently addicted to the game. She can’t play it normally for some reason, because she likes all the pretty light shows you get when playing as a selector. Just play in front of a fricken screensaver! Stop playing! Her new LRIG is the main villain of the first season, Iona, who lost to Ruka. Her wish was pretty dumb, this episode reveals ‘I wanted to be a strong person’s LRIG’ You idiot! If you knew the conditions why wish to be an LRIG? Wish for something useful! How about wishing that the LRIG who stole your body has a horrible time, wishing for your body back when you lose it, or just stop being a selector and play this stupid fad of a card game like the rest of humanity? YOU CAN’T WIN! STOP! Why would you want to be an LRIG anyway? Sure, you get to slash the other LRIGS, but you have no agency in fights, that’s the players job. Would you literally want to be a chess piece, would you actually want to BE Ryu while being controlled by some dope while playing Street Fighter? Even if they are really good at the game? What is wrong with you?

I guess another idea is that Ruka wants to save her previous LRIG, Tama, and I really can’t remember where that obnoxious brat went at the end of the first season. I really don’t care, anyway, and even if I did, Tama could be anywhere and anyone, she may not even be a card anymore, and even if you somehow found her by playing Wixoss and got some kind of wish through you’d become a card anyway, then you’d feel guilty about having to take some other poor girls body. Just cut your losses. Iona asks why Ruka simply doesn’t throw her away. Why indeed? She can’t do it. She is seriously that pathetic. Shinji Ikari has more balls than you! And unlike him, you don’t even need to save the world! Plus he had more complex motivations both for wanting and not wanting to pilot the EVA unit- and he actually achieved shit, ie, saving the world. You’re only playing for your own selfish reasons! WHY AM I COMPARING THIS DRECK TO EVA? Everyone else is only playing for their dumb selfish reasons, too, and they’re screwing everything up! The only person I feel any kind of sympathy for is Yuzuki’s brother. By the end of the first season, she had successfully used her wish to essentially brainwash him into an incestuous relationship with her. Except not, since he’s not even going out with Yuzuki- he’s going out with her LRIG, who was all to happy to oblige Yuzuki’s disgusting wish. I mean, the incest isn’t even what bothers me, I mean it does, but the worst part is the brainwashing. It’s never explicitly stated or shown, but that’s essentially what she’s done. Even worse, his social life including potential dates in other girls was ruined by her infatuation and subsequent relationship with him. This poor kid’s got a rough life ahead of him. This isn’t like Sayaka’s story where she wished for Kyosuke’s health. She wasn’t his brother, she didn’t brainwash him, and her motivations were called into question and were a central conflict of her character. I’d complain some more, but Yuzuki’s brother doesn’t even turn up in this episode, so I assume the show simply doesn’t care in the slightest.

Thanks to anyone who obliged me by reading my rantings. I usually like to be calmer… but this show is simply awful. I’m this deep in, so I’ll be continuing… *sigh* hopefully I can be more level headed in future posts.

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